No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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