One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
