And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
