i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I will pee on everything he values.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
