butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
