We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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