Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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