But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
