Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
