how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
