The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
