The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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