I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
