TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
