you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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