We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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