hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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