Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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