That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
