put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Soap is not a condiment
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
