I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
