I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
