This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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