I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
