East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
