Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
