I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
