I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
