I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
