Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
