he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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