Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
