We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
