I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
