Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
