I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
