Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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