im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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