that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
