So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
