Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
