We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
