idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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