how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Let's get the cat blown out
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
