maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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