I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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