My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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