Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
