I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
