You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
