you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
