Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just had sex bonerless
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
