So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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