Say something about gay babies.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
